i worry this is just gonna end up a bolg about our contuniring trouble with shitbag little kids, (sigh)

@ 303 today saw a few boys  Arron, Liam and james, danny, rowan, reagan, and and older boy (about 17) who we do not know  directly outside living room window , noticed some  were throwing things stones from our front, went out and   told boys outside to stop throwing the stones from our front onto the green opposite, not 2 mins later went out and saw them doing it again asked again to stop doing it, went out to clear stones back to ours a couple more minutes after  and saw emma next door outside telling then off too about throwing her stones, all boys left after that

everybody needs good....

had trouble with next door  now too, couple of days ago... <sigh> they reckon they gonna be making our life hell so much we want to move out, and this morning  when Emma left to go shopping there plant pots in the front garden bit were knocked over ( our stop here santa sign was also in the road but we put that back) can guarantee we will have them screaming on the doorstep that it was us or our kids did it, my kids have been indoors for the past couple of days and the only one to leave the house was caitlin this morning WITH Emma  and honestly are they stupid enough to think we would on purpose  do anything to piss them off when we know they come screaming at us when its other peoples kids who have stood up for themselves against their kids?

this i feel is the start, even if they didnt do it themselves to start a row they will not believe us when we say it wasnt us, oh well merry christmas everybody....

other peoples kids AND their parents are what is wrong with this world today,

I am using this pubic forum to voice my concerns and as a written  record of intended threats of violence against my 12 year old  Son, though I'm aware this may not hold any legal sway i feel it is a good idea to get this down so as any police or social services or housing service  officials reading this may take this into consideration if the needs arises for this to be shown to them, I started writing this at about 7 pm on Monday 17th  December 2012, the incident took place at roughly at 6pm of the same day.

So I get home from work and Emma tells me I have to go talk to *boy a*s mum cos him and his little gang of friends  have been sat outside our house (on our bench, on our property!)  intimidating our kids, and more than once have kicked a ball at our kitchen window and have also kicked the ball purposely at my kids mates face, and when Emma asked him to stop it she got swore at and had  a load of abuse, now as you can imagine I'm  furious, but  we've had to speak to this boys parents before and  it went ok that time so I thought it should be fine.

I spoke to the dad before and it went ok, and Emma and this boys mum do know each other though are not friends i though this time would be ok too, boy was i wrong.

Basically I got a mouthful of how horrible MY boy is, over stuff that happened months ago (and for what he has been suitable dealt with ( a bollocking and a grounding) and that my wife had no right telling her boy to stop doing anything " nobody tells my boy what to do! she can come and see ME if she has a problem!" (or words to that effect,) she was ANGRY at me and my wife for daring to ask her delinquent to stop being abusive and kicking the ball at the windows! when i spoke to her of her boy swearing at my wife she said " sounds like a lot of bullshit to me" accusing  us of lying  now this women has even spoke to Emma before about  how her boy has had to be bought home by police and we have had cause to  mention his name to the police after our property was vandalised (we have no absolute proof but its obvious to us  who did it) so this was really insulting to me,  I wasn't angry, (on the outside)  I never once raised my voice and I constantly  and calmly told her i wasn't their to make trouble i just wanted her boy to not cheek my wife etc. she then went on again about how  nobody can tell her kids what to do blah blah blah, at this i told her if she doesn't want anybody telling her boy anything maybe she should keep him under control a bit more.

I don't think she liked that, but by then I  was close to showing how angry I was, not just for her boys behaviour but her attitude towards me, I feel she was trying to be intimating towards me, which prompted the (deserved, in my opinion ) call for control

 she then said sometime like  " I've had enough of you and your kids" and just  before she  slammed the door in our faces ( i was there with Jake and his friend  (who had the ball kicked in his face) she turned to her son and said to him  ".....Just beat him (Jake) up when you can"

Now regardless of age  or relationship, this to me is one  person telling another person to commit an act of violence again another, I don't know the legal terms but the words "incitement" and "accessory "  spring to mind.

I am making it known on this public blog that if My boy is  beaten up by this child i will be speaking to all the relevant authorities  about this, i  will make them aware of this blog  and also of the fact that i have a digital recording of the conversation if they need to hear it to make a decision on who is telling the truth over anything that may arise.

post completed at 8:13 pm

life, love, death and other anxieties

My cousin Died a few years ago in a car crash, it was and still is the most horrible thing my family have gone through, I'd already moved and been gone a while when it happened and it felt like I was standing on the outside of a house or horrors watching everybody inside having their world torn apart  and not being able to join them, to comfort or be comforted.

 I wish,and I know they wish, that  we could all have been together for each other at the time, but having many miles between us and my own family to look after meant being there would be impossible.
We were able to all go to the funeral, she was buried in April, balloons and (i think)  doves were released for in memorium for her.

The day after it we woke to a thick layer of snow, snow in April,  it kind of made it beautiful, in a strange way, if you believe in things like it you would have thought she had made it happen.
I wish I had, that we had been able to know her better, i left when she was 14 i think and she was 19 when she died, I wish we didn't have to live and die so far away from each other.. sometimes being a family man can make you feel like no man at all when you have so much family to love and no way of sharing or showing.

I've changed since the crash, become more morbid. I think that's the right word, I worry now too much if anybody goes anywhere by car, and I know Emma is sick of me always saying " text me when you get there and when you on way home" and I'm sick of saying it, I wish I could just stop, and I've tried, I've purposefully not reminded her to do it and when she has forgotten off her own back I try not text and remind her to, but it id so so difficult, this is the first time I've put into words how it makes me feel when I don't hear from Emma, or whoever it is I've asked to text.

 I feel useless, I feel hot and sick and dizzy, I feel like crying and screaming I feel angry and empty at the same time.
Doctors would probably say its an anxiety attack, and I just need to learn to trust that the chances of something happing are so low its barley there and I know this to be true, but its like a gremlin inside me just waiting to pounce. and when they text comes just that one word with a kiss "here x " I cry, actually cry, with relief  and with anger at myself for letting me get like that, for allowing me to ruin Emmas night by constantly  checking up on her, i know she knows why I do it, she understand me but I'm not sure she knows how it effects me, I just apologise and tell her I'm a dick. she good humouredly agrees.
She puts up with a lot she does, I  couldn't ever do without her.

Theres a star man...

Yesterday I was told I have been nominated for the ess star of the month which is nice

I know a lot of company's do very similar things and its  not really a big deal but it  means a lot to me as its come directly as a result of one of my regular customers filling out a comment card praising my customer service.

To actually take time out of her busy day to put pen to paper just to say thanks is such a nice thing for somebody to do especially when we all know how people only usually comment when things are not so good or habe fallen below standard. It does make a difference knowing you have made somebody happy enough that they want.to share it.

Next time yoi get great service dont just tip andtell your friends, tell the persons boss too, it will go a long way :-D

A little bit of empathy can go a long way

Annoying posh whiney students on the bus this morning moaning That "this weather is a pisstake" seriously luv? You are from this country right? You do know it does rain in England and it does rain in November? Guns n roses even wrote a song about it! Its not even that bad out and a lot of people have it a whole lot worse so please next time before you open your over privileged mouth to moan to your fellow over privileged cronies about your life sucks cos it dared rain on you a little bit try spare a thought for the families whos homes and lives have been ruined due to the rain.

robocop

the original robocops i forgot how truly shite yet at the same time totally fucking awesome you are, i just love how EVERYTHING explodes in a great ball of fire and no matter what it is exploding there will be flaming planks of wood flying about the screen, and the actual robocop "costume" and acting both just shiny and plastic, onto robocop 3 i go, cant remember the baddie in this but im sure it will be something huge and stop-motion again. if it aint broke why fix it huh? ;)

Off to the @WyvernTheatre to see @gdavies with @emn2111 tonight thank you to @DerekWyvern for such great acts and awesome venue! -- Gary Riddle (@gary_riddle1)

Movie re-boots, the argument for

There seems to be a lot of these about these days, whether its a reboot, a re-imagining, a re-make, a prequel a side-quel or a sequel  the list just seems to go on for the names of the continuation for  films and for the most part of it people seem to HATE them!

"How dare they make a different version of this that and the other" they say, "when the first ones were perfectly good as they were!" full of self important rage and indignity  its almost as if these people think that once the "remake" (for that's what I'm gonna refer to it  from now on)  has been completed the original copy of the film will cease to exist any more  except only in their memories, and that any hard copies of the film they may have will suddenly have been stealth deleted or over written with the new version.

C'mon people! get a grip! yes I know you feel passionate about the version of the film you know and love, it might hold some dear memories of precious moments lost in time that only that film will bring alive again or you might just love it for the sake of it being a great film. But no matter what, that film will still and always will  exist, even if they make a billion remakes!

Theses remakes serve to make you remember how great the story is, and to introduce new people to the story and characters  who may even want to see the old version one day. To me remakes are like seeing other peoples photo collections of you and your family, familiar yet new, sometimes odd, but always intriguing. and like  with photos you've never seen before, just like films, you don't always have to like them.

But you need to have SEEN  them first to make that decision  don't dismiss these films out of hand just cos you like the original, if you did that with everything in life you would only ever try anything once just in case if wasn't as good the next time, (where would that leave all you second borns huh?)

sometimes things CAN be made better with new version, have you ever added more  to a recipe and liked it better than before? ok, maybe you dont cook...

let me put it this way....

paved the way for 

which in turn paved the way for

which then paved for way for 

          

which everybody knows is fricking awesome

Do I really need to say any more?

     

Dreamt

I was in the big brother house with @caroldecker and various other people I follow on twitter was very bizarre we had a conversation about bond themes and how tpau was on the album for live and let die but thay didnt like the film much. Pretty much everybody else in the house ( I wont mention any twitter names) were all dicks in real life, well, real life in my dream anyway. Now im pretty sure the people and places are symbolic here rather than just me going all weird dream stalkerish so ill try and reason it all out of my subconscious mind when I get my lunch at 11:00 ish o clock, but until then...... I have to get on with my day job... Ok so this is a bit rushed but im thinking dream carol means im missing the simplicity and fun of youth, the house represents constant chains and constant slavery of adulthood, the life im living now, trapped in a world always being watched and judged. In other words my job. No surprise there then. The fact most people in the dream are dicks is pretty much self explanatory, most people unfortunatly are in fact dicks. So there you have it a 10 minute dream interpretation thst hopefully didnt make me look like a stalker too much

Aha

Ive sorted me phone out so I can install apps into the sd card so now there is evermore to stop me writing

Wednesday

Really need to get my head in the game. Havent wrote anthing proper in too long. Tweets and blogs dont count and although the editing I did on eifferwen story did need doing and did make a big difference that really dont count either.

I dont know whats stopping me I have time in the evening when em is out or doing her own homework yet I still put it off! Considering this is something ive wanted to to since... Well since forever really, im just really crap to myself. C`mon Gary you got Albert yhe alligator published in morningside when you was like 8.
Surely you can finish something else since that, can even self publish these days

I dont like mondays...

Dont get me wrong im not gonna shoot the whole day down or anything but Monday mornings...garghhh its always the time I question if I could have done more over the weekend, if I could have made my time with the family better, if I could have been a better father, a better husband. And now those precious two days off are gone and by the time the next comes around ill be tired and miserable again. Its a vicious circle and I wish I could break it

Kids, if you ever read this please know that I always have and always will wish I could be a better dad for you. Just stick with me ok?

everyday is like sunday

this is the type of Sunday Morrissey sung about, silent and Gray  it does feel like the Armageddon has come and gone here in Faringdon and nobody bothered to tell us ( in my kitchen it looks like it too!)

Emma is out with Jake at his first kick boxing show, Caitlin has gone to watch and Loren is at her Nan's.
Just me and the littlies here, there watching tv and having a picnic lunch, (yes i know its only half 9 in the morning but they got up early) and I'm contemplating tidying up, well, I'm actually putting off tidying up by writing this, but i figure if I call myself a writer then I should actually write something...

Anyway here is the song im talking about, i had it on a now that's what i call music vinyl and video, think it was on the same on as a t'pau track, might have been secret garden, not sure also think iron maidens can i play with madness was on it too and these dreams by heart....they were good times for music, but I digress here ya go,

i might google what albums they were on and what seaside town it was set in, and get back to ya, i should probably get on and get going with the house work first <sigh> hope its a brighter day were you are reading this

Weird

Had odd dreams last night, my car died and we hadn't got the shopping home yet and to make things worse we were due a blizzard, for some reason I was also taking a load of comics from a shop I remember from my childhood, dont think ther is any deep symbolism though asbo did clean out the freezer before our asda shop came yesterday. Not sure about the free comics though. I often dream of getting or at least looking for certain specific things amoung  free stuff that I sometimes dream about. That i probably could find meaning for if didnt have to start work in 6 minutes.

Why is it

That all the ideas and plans I have at 6 in the morning always seem so amazing and important and yet  by 11 they fade to nothing more than the  echo of a voice half remembered.

Gonna be tough times ahead at work, all this mornings notions will disperse with the sunrise today, like mist on meadow. ,11 seems like lifetime away.

Morning musings before work

Somebody please remind me to start writing again soon, had an.awesome idea to link pretty much eveything I write to my fairy tale collection tales from the eifferwhen. Solar eclipse of some kind. I will link up as im writing  at some point and write live.maybe the thought of having an audience will spur me on to at least finish 1 story!

hmmmmm

Ok....so i never thought id say this, but the internet right now....it kinda sucks.

i guess  ive just become complacent, back in the old days when it was all new and there was so much to see i could spend days and nights just sat in front of the computer, playing shoot em ups on-line  talking to random strangers and now.... now i just wait for people i know to update their status in Facebook   or for celebs to update their status on twitter, the highlight of my internet life is a re tweet...

Facebook,, twitter, you tube, that's what it comes  to, and ahem, off course maybe the other odd site i wont mention, internet, what happened to you you used to be fun! ?

Can I post on the go on my phone?

Guess this test will let me know!

welcome to wherever you are

Ok, so im gonna be just putting out some of the shit that constantly fills my head here, childhood memories, snippets  of stories i hope to one day finish,  the strange dreams i regularly have and the random thoughts that suddenly pop into my head while im supposed to be concentrating on something else...now the spelling will be atrocious and the grammar even worse, but ive got to a comfortable stage in my existence where i don't actually give a shit, what you have here, basically, is an occasional insight into the mind of ...well...of me, nothing special, im pretty much invisible in  real life, you could walk past me and not even see me, just like all the other billions of semi visible men and women out there.

A voice in the darkness that lets you know you are not alone, sometimes thats all I am, sometimes thats all I want to be.