image and upload test from kindle

jake jumping high and falling beautifully 

Putting new flesh on old bones

A couple of years ago I wrote a short story for an online competition, the story itself was a basic ghost story set at Halloween, it was actually the first proper thing I had ever finished so just for that I was pleased with myself, when it won I was over the moon.

As  of right now it still is the only story ive managed to put " the end" on,  ive a couple of shorts started on paper ( ok, on Google docs, ) and a few more in mind that im confidant wont take too much teasing to finish. The more I write the easier it is too write it seems.

As much as I love that first finished ghost story after re reading it I realised thete was very little to it. Sure it has a beggining a middle and an end and the story itself was structurally sound but that was all there was, it lacked depth. Like the kid in the story itself the bare bones of it  needed fleshing out . I put it on my to do list and forties about it for a while. It was after pressing pause on one of the eifferwin tales id been working on ( in my head the story is complete, in writing mabey a fifth is done) I decided re visit the samuals family and see if I couldnt give them a little more...a little more everything I guess.

Im half way though the edit and ive probably already doubled the original word count and im really pleased the characters now have some actual character behind them and the story has gained weight without getting bloated.

Its evolving too, not so much that it wont be recognizable from the original but enough to make it a slightly different creature, like the difference between a wild and a house cat and ive even managed to bring it into the eifferwin universe. Admittedly it feels a  bit shoe horned in at the moment but that might be where I know, when its part of the big story im sure it will sit perfectly, im looking forward to finishing the tale all over again, and once I have theres a big box of people and places up.in the loft dating back to the.early 1990s I might have to pay a visit to :-D

At the wyvern for lorens birthday panto :-)

i worry this is just gonna end up a bolg about our contuniring trouble with shitbag little kids, (sigh)

@ 303 today saw a few boys  Arron, Liam and james, danny, rowan, reagan, and and older boy (about 17) who we do not know  directly outside living room window , noticed some  were throwing things stones from our front, went out and   told boys outside to stop throwing the stones from our front onto the green opposite, not 2 mins later went out and saw them doing it again asked again to stop doing it, went out to clear stones back to ours a couple more minutes after  and saw emma next door outside telling then off too about throwing her stones, all boys left after that

everybody needs good....

had trouble with next door  now too, couple of days ago... <sigh> they reckon they gonna be making our life hell so much we want to move out, and this morning  when Emma left to go shopping there plant pots in the front garden bit were knocked over ( our stop here santa sign was also in the road but we put that back) can guarantee we will have them screaming on the doorstep that it was us or our kids did it, my kids have been indoors for the past couple of days and the only one to leave the house was caitlin this morning WITH Emma  and honestly are they stupid enough to think we would on purpose  do anything to piss them off when we know they come screaming at us when its other peoples kids who have stood up for themselves against their kids?

this i feel is the start, even if they didnt do it themselves to start a row they will not believe us when we say it wasnt us, oh well merry christmas everybody....

other peoples kids AND their parents are what is wrong with this world today,

I am using this pubic forum to voice my concerns and as a written  record of intended threats of violence against my 12 year old  Son, though I'm aware this may not hold any legal sway i feel it is a good idea to get this down so as any police or social services or housing service  officials reading this may take this into consideration if the needs arises for this to be shown to them, I started writing this at about 7 pm on Monday 17th  December 2012, the incident took place at roughly at 6pm of the same day.

So I get home from work and Emma tells me I have to go talk to *boy a*s mum cos him and his little gang of friends  have been sat outside our house (on our bench, on our property!)  intimidating our kids, and more than once have kicked a ball at our kitchen window and have also kicked the ball purposely at my kids mates face, and when Emma asked him to stop it she got swore at and had  a load of abuse, now as you can imagine I'm  furious, but  we've had to speak to this boys parents before and  it went ok that time so I thought it should be fine.

I spoke to the dad before and it went ok, and Emma and this boys mum do know each other though are not friends i though this time would be ok too, boy was i wrong.

Basically I got a mouthful of how horrible MY boy is, over stuff that happened months ago (and for what he has been suitable dealt with ( a bollocking and a grounding) and that my wife had no right telling her boy to stop doing anything " nobody tells my boy what to do! she can come and see ME if she has a problem!" (or words to that effect,) she was ANGRY at me and my wife for daring to ask her delinquent to stop being abusive and kicking the ball at the windows! when i spoke to her of her boy swearing at my wife she said " sounds like a lot of bullshit to me" accusing  us of lying  now this women has even spoke to Emma before about  how her boy has had to be bought home by police and we have had cause to  mention his name to the police after our property was vandalised (we have no absolute proof but its obvious to us  who did it) so this was really insulting to me,  I wasn't angry, (on the outside)  I never once raised my voice and I constantly  and calmly told her i wasn't their to make trouble i just wanted her boy to not cheek my wife etc. she then went on again about how  nobody can tell her kids what to do blah blah blah, at this i told her if she doesn't want anybody telling her boy anything maybe she should keep him under control a bit more.

I don't think she liked that, but by then I  was close to showing how angry I was, not just for her boys behaviour but her attitude towards me, I feel she was trying to be intimating towards me, which prompted the (deserved, in my opinion ) call for control

 she then said sometime like  " I've had enough of you and your kids" and just  before she  slammed the door in our faces ( i was there with Jake and his friend  (who had the ball kicked in his face) she turned to her son and said to him  ".....Just beat him (Jake) up when you can"

Now regardless of age  or relationship, this to me is one  person telling another person to commit an act of violence again another, I don't know the legal terms but the words "incitement" and "accessory "  spring to mind.

I am making it known on this public blog that if My boy is  beaten up by this child i will be speaking to all the relevant authorities  about this, i  will make them aware of this blog  and also of the fact that i have a digital recording of the conversation if they need to hear it to make a decision on who is telling the truth over anything that may arise.

post completed at 8:13 pm

life, love, death and other anxieties

My cousin Died a few years ago in a car crash, it was and still is the most horrible thing my family have gone through, I'd already moved and been gone a while when it happened and it felt like I was standing on the outside of a house or horrors watching everybody inside having their world torn apart  and not being able to join them, to comfort or be comforted.

 I wish,and I know they wish, that  we could all have been together for each other at the time, but having many miles between us and my own family to look after meant being there would be impossible.
We were able to all go to the funeral, she was buried in April, balloons and (i think)  doves were released for in memorium for her.

The day after it we woke to a thick layer of snow, snow in April,  it kind of made it beautiful, in a strange way, if you believe in things like it you would have thought she had made it happen.
I wish I had, that we had been able to know her better, i left when she was 14 i think and she was 19 when she died, I wish we didn't have to live and die so far away from each other.. sometimes being a family man can make you feel like no man at all when you have so much family to love and no way of sharing or showing.

I've changed since the crash, become more morbid. I think that's the right word, I worry now too much if anybody goes anywhere by car, and I know Emma is sick of me always saying " text me when you get there and when you on way home" and I'm sick of saying it, I wish I could just stop, and I've tried, I've purposefully not reminded her to do it and when she has forgotten off her own back I try not text and remind her to, but it id so so difficult, this is the first time I've put into words how it makes me feel when I don't hear from Emma, or whoever it is I've asked to text.

 I feel useless, I feel hot and sick and dizzy, I feel like crying and screaming I feel angry and empty at the same time.
Doctors would probably say its an anxiety attack, and I just need to learn to trust that the chances of something happing are so low its barley there and I know this to be true, but its like a gremlin inside me just waiting to pounce. and when they text comes just that one word with a kiss "here x " I cry, actually cry, with relief  and with anger at myself for letting me get like that, for allowing me to ruin Emmas night by constantly  checking up on her, i know she knows why I do it, she understand me but I'm not sure she knows how it effects me, I just apologise and tell her I'm a dick. she good humouredly agrees.
She puts up with a lot she does, I  couldn't ever do without her.